I used to hate nineteen, remember? It's the sophomore year of life, no one gives a damn, blah blah blah. Right? But you know, recently, I've realized that nineteen is beautiful. So beautiful.

Nineteen is possibilities.
Nineteen is the rest of my life.
Nineteen is Thursday.
Nineteen is perfect.

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I've decided that I'd like a B.A. in English. Getting my degree is going to take a lot longer than I'd prefer, but I'm sure it'll make graduation that much sweeter. So, once I get my degree and I'm certified to teach (K-12), I'm gonna hop a plane to Somewhere Else and teach English there. And then maybe Somewhere Else After That. And then when I'm tired of being Elsewhere, I'll go home and teach English. And maybe even a Speech class. Or Drama. Or write. Or go back to school to learn some more. Or anything! I'm afraid I don't know what you mean this time, Avenue Q.

Everything in that paragraph is subject to change as we all know how fickle I am. But this one feels really good, guys. It feels really right.

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There are lots of fish in the sea, or so I've been told.

Last weekend, I caught a big fish. A really good one. But unfortunately, this particular fish wasn't the keepin' kind. He was the kind you catch, take a few pictures with, and then toss back into the water where he belongs. And then you look at those pictures for days -maybe weeks- after, and you grin every time, and you think, "Yup. Yes sir. That happened. That really happened."

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Australia in two months, Stephanie in three, home soon after that!

A Prayer

I hope I never think
"It's good enough."

Natalie's put me in touch with a fresh new French au pair from the suburb next door. We chatted a bit earlier. I typed in English, she typed in French, and we both learned things. So dope!

I wish I could bring people back as souvenirs.

Bon nuit.

This morning off

"In the morning it was morning and I was still alive."
Charles Bukowski

So I've always anticipated "What's death?" to be the most challenging question a child could ask me. They would ask this, and I would have to answer- oh god. So yeah I thought this for a long time, until Charlotte asked me the other day- "What's alive?"

Shower. Then to my beloved sweet shop, the library, this morning. Then I must hang my washing, damnit.

Yes weekend.

Okay so you know those blue pajamas I have? The loose, airy, MC Hammer ones? I'm wearing those right now. And no panties. Yeah. And this, what it feels like, this is the way my weekend felt. :)

Friday night was rough on Friday night, but it's Sunday night now, and on Sunday night, Friday night was actually really great. And you know what, they said that they didn't like Katy Perry but if she was marrying Russell Brand, then there must be something very right there. And then I thought, that logic applied to my life, me as Katy Perry, and you you and you and all of you as Russell Brand... You know I really don't like myself sometimes, but with that logic, then maybe yeah, there is definitely something very right with me.

Saturday was spent doing good things. I was supposed to meet up with Aisha, an au pair I met online, at the Starbucks on Queen Street at two (Queen is a lot like Michigan Ave, except for I'd never be able to meet you at the Starbucks on Michigan, because which Starbucks right?), but I got distracted by the book sale at Whitcoull's. I bought "Diary" by my Chucky P. Five minutes later, I gave the book to Aisha because honestly I have more than enough to read right now. (I've actually started wishing for few more pairs of eyes precisely for this reason but the woodpecker just keeps crying, "If only, if only.") So that. We popped into Vulcan Lane to say hello to my Vulcan Lane friends, and then went to Cassette's Saturday Supermarket. Found two treasures and I can't wait to go back. Deb met up with us, then we three hopped the 756 to Mission Bay where we had some yum food and I bought my first bottle of wine! (Tawhiri Marlborough New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc 2008, empty, standing between Mary Poppins and my parcel from Marlin.) We laired for quite some time, watching old as music videos and "just talking shit" as Deb would say. Got ready for a night on the town, but missed the bus, so Aisha and I went back to the lair and watched "Annie Hall", la dee da.

Today today today I had breakfast with Aisha at Sierra, waited for her bus with her, then took in (HA) "The Last Station." Loved it and I'm ready to read "War and Peace" next I think. Went home, did a big tidy up of my room, danced with the kids, read some of "Post Office," had dinner, and now here I am, in my MC Hammer pajamas, not wearing panties, feeling so great.

Current.

I exist in too many places. Divide and conquer wasn't my strategy, I just get nomadic about these things sometimes. And antsy.

Snickers kicked my inexperienced ass last night. Said the word far too early, party foul. Please don't hold it against me, Cooler Kids.

Reconsidered reconsidering. Almost changed my mind again, but, no. Not this life, not right now.

Thrilled to have Deborah on my team. And Bev, too. We're gonna play some good games, I'm sure.

Love that my nails are so green. Excited for Christmas!

Okay, Saturday. Bring it.